What's my password? I hate trying on clothes. Shut. Up.
These are just a few of the phrases making the rounds right now thanks to a video called Sh*t Girls Say.
It's the first web video in a promised series by Toronto comedy and filmmaking duo Kyle Humphrey and Graydon Sheppard.
And it's not just clever because Mr. Sheppard dresses in drag to deliver the bon mots boyfriends and husbands have been fielding from us ladies for years - although it does drive home the gender differences neatly.
Most guys just don't say "I had to get up at, like, 6," in that particularly boastful, post-Valley-Girl way.
In the same vein as the hit blog/book phenomenon Stuff White People Like, the brilliance of this schtick lies in the mundane and utterly predictable nature of sayings such as, "Could you do me a huge favour?" and or a line delivered by Juliette Lewis in a cameo: "Like, I'm not even joking right now."
Others aren't sayings at all, but recurring tics: Digging in purses. Pointing to a cellphone you're talking on to indicate the obvious - that you're in the middle of a call. And crunching loudly on chips while watching TV (Men, you're guilty of this one, too, FYI.)
Female viewers will no doubt be tallying their banal go-to phrases.
In my case I'm guilty of many, including "Could you just turn it down?" and "Go into my purse..."
Not that we'll curb some of the strange patterns we've established. (I, for one, refuse to give up "Are you near a computer?" said while on a cellphone. Obviously I need directions, a phone number or some other urgent information.)
Want more? Check out the guys' Twitter account by the same name (and with the odd/interesting choice of the famous "Afghan girl" National Geographic photo as avatar.)
The micro-blog format is especially suited to their comedy as a goldmine of material - all they have to do is retweet to make their point. Recent gems: "11/11/11 11:11 Make a wish!" and "I can't believe it's almost November."
Another recent one written by the duo reflects how viral they have gone: "Pretty sure I've said 90 per cent of the things on this list."
Women, do you hear yourself in this video? Are you laughing - or a little offended? And shall we start a list of Sh*t Men Say?