I have a dirty little secret: For the past five days, I have been wearing Playboy perfume. And maybe, just maybe, I've liked it.
I suspect you were hoping for something more scandalous. But for an unapologetic fragrance snob, this is tantamount to admitting that I'd take Ron Jeremy over Colin Firth.
To be clear, this challenge was self-imposed. I had no expectation of tolerating the scents for more than an hour, let alone days. Boy, was I in for a surprise.
Distributed by Coty, Playboy's foray into women's fragrance (there are five men's colognes) is actually a threesome: Play it Lovely, Play it Spicy and Play it Sexy. Even expert noses will have difficulty discerning much difference between the scents. Essentially, they're like Hef's blondes - variations on a predictable theme: seduction.
First, a note about the bottle, with its curvaceous shape, pale pink juice and black cap boasting a moulded plastic bowtie and rubber bunny ears. To me, it perfectly straddles feminine and fetish. And, surprisingly, it's sans label - a classy touch.
I tried Play it Lovely pre-workout. Usually, I avoid spritzing fragrance before exercising out of respect for fellow gym-goers. But people flirt at the gym, no? Unfortunately, hardly anyone was there that day - and the one guy who did walk by noticed nothing (even after I asked him).
It came as some relief, though, that my father was not a fan of Play it Sexy. "Tell me what you think of my new perfume," I asked him. "It's, uh, sweet," he said, having no idea of the brand. "It wouldn't be my first choice - it wouldn't even be my 17th." Gotta love him.
Over sushi one night, a gal pal declared that I smelled like a strip club. My thoughts exactly! Interestingly, though, she only said this after I told her what I was wearing (Play it Spicy, FYI). Before the big reveal, the most she could offer was that I didn't smell like I usually do.
This made me wonder whether we can be truly objective about our olfactory opinions - what if I had said I was wearing eau de fancy something-or-other? The Playboy brand is so powerful and loaded with preconceptions. It's easy to ridicule these perfumes, much tougher to tap into the semiotics of scent. And, by the way, who knew Playboy could provoke such deep thoughts?
It occurred to me, while I was wearing it, that I always choose my fragrances selfishly; I wear them because they hit me on a visceral level. I appreciate their challenging compositions and, let's be honest, the cachet factor. But there is something liberating about Playboy's Lovely, Spicy, Sexy in that they have such mass appeal. I've caught myself asking "Where is that girly girl smell coming from?" before realizing "Oh wait, it's me!"
For the record, I sneezed nearly a dozen times within the first two days of wearing the scents. Coincidence? Hard to say. I also find that they don't last that long on my skin - likely a reflection of the ingredients (note the $25 price tag). Of the three, Play it Spicy is the clear winner, with an honourable mention to Lovely. You'd need a set of bunny ears and puff tail to carry off Sexy.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around how we've arrived at the conclusion that this is what seduction smells like to most people circa 2011. But I'm happy to (occasionally) play along. It is the Year of the Rabbit, after all.
Amy Verner